What I Learned From Binge Watching

We all deserve a good “me day” now and again. While balancing work, school, friends, and transitioning into the big girl world (yikes!) me days don’t come around too often. So, when I do find a day to relax and enjoy the blank space in my planner…I go all out. Bubble bath, face mask, wine, and a little binge watch. My favorite lately has been Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. The bonus? While I watch I can still #girlboss by applying it to the leadership theories we are learning in class.

Path-Goal Leadership Theory focuses on task oriented leadership: how a leader motivates a follower in order to accomplish a goal. There are 4 different leadership styles within the theory: directive, goal clarifying, supportive, participative, and achievement. I’ll highlight a few that stood out to me during my binge.

Here’s the backstory, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit is about the New York Police Department that specialize in heinous crimes such as rape, sexual assault, kidnapping, child murders (not children who are murdered, but children who have murdered!), basically all my biggest fears. I just watched an episode about a family. The family had 2 small children, a 10 year old boy let’s call him Bob (I never remember names) and a younger sister, let’s call her Lucy, around age 6. The episode started out with the Lucy falling down the stairs, and Bob blamed it on their nanny. The nanny was appalled, and while getting questioned by the police she swore it wasn’t her fault. The police then questioned Lucy who said it was her brother that pushed her. She said she didn’t want to get him in trouble because then he would hurt her. After further investigation and questioning, the Bob admitted to pushing her down the stairs and in a deviant and evil way said, “I wanted to see how fast she would roll down, she rolled down pretty fast.” The detectives suggested he has psychopathic characteristics and their goal was to help heal the Bob (if there was any hope in saving him) and to keep the family safe, as their fear was that he would just get worse. OK! So back to the leadership theory:

Directive: refers to the leader (in this case NYPD) directing the follower (in this case the family) on what to do and how to do it in order to achieve the goal. Bob’s parents love him very much and want to do everything they can to help in improve on his attitude problem. There is a scene where Bob gets questioned by the police for quite a bit of time. He tells his mom that he doesn’t like them and that he was sorry he pushed Lucy down the stairs and he wants this whole investigation to stop. His mom reassured him that she knew he was sorry and that everything would be over soon. She told him to go to bed and attempted to tuck him in. He began to get angry and claim he was not tired and did not want to go to bed. When his mother said it was time to go to bed and attempted to re-tuck him in, he pulled a knife out from under his pillow and said “I said no.” His mother obviously scared asked him to hand over the knife. He slowly handed it over but before giving it to her, sliced open her hand and smiled. She went to the emergency to get stitches and the detectives found out and met her there. She told them that it was her fault that he cut her because she reached for the knife and that he was angry and didn’t mean it. Detective Benson, one of the main characters advised her to stop blaming herself in situations like this and that Bob was big enough to be responsible for his own actions. She also advised that Bob go see a mental health counselor to check with is mental health. He may need help and that needing help was OK.

Goal Clarifying: exactly as it states, goal clarifying refers to the actions a leader takes in order to clarify the goal at hand and explain how certain tasks can and will help achieve the goal. In the same scene above, Detective Benson explains how Bob’s behavior could be the tip of the iceberg. That these small tantrums and incidences could be a call for help that they need to answer. She said “We want to keep you and your family and those around you safe, we want to keep Bob safe, and we want what is best for everyone.” She told her that metal illness if caught early is better than if it is caught later on, and that there are professionals to help heal those suffering. His mother agreed looking at Detective Benson both defeated and hopeful. I also thought this conversation was an example of supportive: showing concern while being approachable, this works best in situations that are challenging. Admitting to yourself that your own child may have psychopathic characteristics and needs mental counseling can be hard. It can be embarrassing and cause denial. However, the way that Detective Benson painted the big picture for Bob’s mom helped her realize that although this may be hard, it is necessary and she has support if she needs it.

After mental health counseling and Bob’s most psychopathic episode to date (he locked his mother in the laundry room, tied his sister to the bed and started a fire in the room, tied up and locked his friend in the closet, drowned a dog, stole a gun, hold a 3 year old hostage, and attempted to shoot a police officer) he was charged with many juvenile charges and his parents had nowhere else to run, no other scapegoats to save Bob. NYPD began to exhibit participative behaviors. They advised the couple what to do about their struggling boy and advised them that their options were to send him to a mental health facility for constant monitoring and treatment or he would be sent to juvenile jail. They advised them that it was completely their choice but Bob had stepped over the line this time. They also reassured them that his mental health was not a cause of their parenting or in any way their fault, but that he was wired wrong, has neurotransmitter deficiencies that they cannot control- but they can help by getting him help. By reassuring his parents that Bob would get help, he would be safe, and everyone around him would be safe by making this decision they are being the best parents they can be- the NYPD also exhibited achievement behaviors, making his parent’s feel like they have done the right thing, and are being the best parents they can be.

Moral of the story is, you can never be over-educated. You can learn from anything, even a good binge watch and a glass of wine. Cheers!