Taking a Step Back

In the beginning of my journey, I definitely did not understand how complex the theory of leadership was. I thought a leader was simply the person in charge and they were the “boss” of everyone else. I thought it was very black and white and that there wasn’t much to it (whelp, wasn’t I just wrong wrong wrong!). When we learned about competencies I knew there was a few that I definitely needed to work on.

Networking- I have always been kind of shy and uncomfortable in crowds I don’t know. Which is weird because I am quite the outgoing talkative one once I break that wall down. I think I am too much in my head that I think the group is judging me or that I am going to say the wrong thing, but it was time to get over that since everyone always says “it’s all about who you know!”

Interpersonal Communication- building off my awkwardness in group settings that I’m not the most comfortable in… I could also work on my interpersonal communication. I do admit I am one for RBF (resting bitch face) but I honestly can’t help it. My natural walking from class to class face isn’t very smiley, and when I am intensely listening to someone I tend to do this weird confused face by squinting my eyebrows together and it makes me look…well like a total bitch that doesn’t care about a word coming out of your mouth. But it’s really the complete opposite! Numberwise- of course, if we were good at numbers we would be Accounting majors? Finance majors, Engineering majors? We even squeezed our way around certain business classes with excessive math because we care about the people and the experiences- not 1 + 1 = 2 stuff. However, when we do deal with numbers I feel like I should be pretty competent. But sometimes my hint of dyslexia gets the best of me and room 318 was actually room 218…or I told someone we had a certain room available on April 4th when it wasn’t and I was actually looking at April 5th…oops! Well practice makes perfect, am I right! One of my key milestones was getting my internship with San Diego Events Company. With this internship I realized that events was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It’s a small company focused on weddings, special events and small corporate event planning. And this is where I fell in love with weddings. I loved hearing each couples story, hearing their vision, and watching it come to life. I loved the pressure of it being such a big day and how there was very very little room for error. I loved the anticipation of it all as this one-day had been planned for months, and maybe even years. I also started to fall in love with the idea of being my own boss and running my own event company one day. I loved how accomplished and proud my boss was of us and how fulfilling her job was. It was awesome to know that something so small could make such a big impact on other people. Sophomore year, I chose to run as the Vice President of Marketing for my sorority. That was the position in charge of all events and social media of the chapter. My biggest accomplishment was our annual Red Dress Gala. Before my term, our attendance rate was only about 40 people from our chapter-that was only about ¼ of the total chapter! The event was kind of dry and long to sit through and for me (even being on the attendee side) you kind of just waited for it to be over. The event was an hour “cocktail hour” with appetizers, a few vendors, and a silent auction. Then everyone was sat for a dinner and a live auction with a few keynote speakers. Our biggest obstacle in attendance was ticket prices- a whopping 75$ a person and most people brought their parents, equaling a $225 dollar night plus some for bidding on auction items. REVAMP TIME! When I came into office this was my primary mission: revamp Red Dress Gala and make it something our whole chapter wanted to participate in. During a chapter meeting I took opinions on what we liked and didn’t, and what we would want to change. So this was the outcome, we changed it to a full Parents Weekend instead of just a one-night event. This included a football tailgate, a tour and breakfast at the chapter house with some cute clothing vendors, and a revamped Red Dress Gala that included a cocktail hour with appetizers, casino tables, silent and live auction, and a seated dessert during the keynote speakers. Our attendance? 135 members of the chapter plus parents and family making it about a 300-person event. By cutting the seated dinner we cut costs and were able to bring the ticket prices down to only 30$ a person for the whole weekend. That was so accomplishing for me and I found a little love for sales and negotiation with trying to figure out how all the pieces would fit together. One of my biggest milestones: getting on a plane, flying to Paris, and starting a while new life for 6 months completely on my own. This was probably the scariest and most rewarding thing I have ever done. I remember stepping off the plane and having a mini panic attack because there was no turning back now! I was lucky enough to live in a dorm like set up with other students that were international. I met some of the best people over the course of my six months and I am grateful that we still keep in contact frequently (even with such a horrible time difference). I also learned a lot about myself. I learned how independent I could be, and how much I could handle being in uncomfortable situations. Did I mention I had never flown on an airplane alone before this? I quickly adjusted and was on a plane alone pretty much every weekend. I also learned a lot about the value of friendship and relationships. I was so grateful for the new friends I had made and all the memories we were creating together, which made me appreciate all the family and friends I had at home that were so important to me. My leadership development journey has definitely been shaped through my experiences with leaders in my own life. My boss and San Diego Events Company was very personable and relationship oriented. She wanted to know her interns on a very personal level and mentor them to help them work towards their dreams. She knew many of us wanted to build our own event planning companies and she was open to helping us create our own ideas of what we would want and how we would want things to be ran. I was awesome because this mentorship went full circle when she asked me to be her day of coordinator for her own wedding 2 summers ago. It was awesome to know that the person who I had looked up to for so long and wanted to learn everything from had the trust in me to do her own special day. This highlighted how important interpersonal communication and coaching and training competencies really are. I had a bad leadership experience when I worked at my 398 front desk internship. I had a lot going on in my personal life (a full class schedule, two internships, serving on an executive board, studying abroad coming up, and a few major personal issues) I fully expressed this to my managers and they seemed like they would be totally understanding when I was first hired. However, that was not the case. When I came to them with feelings of being overwhelmed and stressed with 40 hours a week they simply told me I could do it, when I obviously was at my breaking point. There was little to know interaction between employees and managers and when one of us needed help we mentally prepared ourselves to walk into the office and interrupt their day. It was horrible. They were completely task oriented and made me realize that I definitely needed more of a balance between task and relationship and that work culture and environment was something high on my priority list when looking for a long-term job. While I was an intern for Fashion Week San Diego, I was working about 8-10 hours a week unpaid. I didn’t mind though since I was only a sophomore and Fashion Week San Diego was such a cool concept with only 8 interns…there was no way I was going to let the opportunity slip. The founder and director was always so nice when I saw her, she was a great inspiration as she had accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. She was definition of #girlboss. She knew what she wanted and she was not going to give up until she had it. During the week of fashion week she was very high stress, as she had every right to be. She had instances of raising her voice at us and ordering us around a bit. But many of us just brushed it off and blamed it on the stress. However at the end of the day and when we checked into our hotel room, we were only given a room with 2 queen sized beds… for all 8 interns. 4 to a bed? I think not. We decided we would switch off every night from the floor to the bed (Comfortable! Not!) And at the end of the whole Fashion Week, we didn’t see her. She didn’t say good-bye or thank you to us in anyway and we just went on our way. It was odd. I almost felt like the relationship we had built over the last almost year was fake and that I wasn’t worth anything to her. I felt underappreciated as we were working 18-hour days, minimal breaks, and for free! I learned quickly why so many Fashion Week San Diego interns never returned…because who wants to be treated like that! I learned the importance of the relationship between appreciation and job performance. By the last day all interns pretty much came to a halt and were doing the bare minimum. The bubbly and smiling faces were gone and most of us just wanted to get out of there (half because we were tired and half because we were just dead over it) Throughout my journey my biggest take away has been balance. There has to be a balance between business, people and self. Each part must work together simultaneously in order for an effective outcome. If one particular part is forgotten or weighted too much than everything is off balance. It's all about keeping harmony (even if it's the complete opposite) but hey, that's what event planners do right? I also found it's important to constantly change and adapt to those you are leading. Your leadership style must match those you are trying to lead! If I were to characterize my leadership journey as if it was a movie I would call it "Experiences and Their Impact." I am a very hands on learner, so for me learning and changing comes with experiences. Not just reading something or thinking about something, but actually experiencing something right before my very eyes.